We all know someone or have come across somebody that makes us uncomfortable or simply unhappy when we interact with them, it may not be right away but it doesn’t take too long for their sucky nature to get you bummed. Sometimes these toxic people come into our lives disguised as friends or lovers, they can be co-workers, or worse they’re family.
Toxic people present themselves in many forms, nevertheless they all have one thing in common, these toxic traits are usually hidden over a superficial kind personality. Without further ado here are the top 5 people you should cut out of your life immediately or at the very least limit your exposure them as much as possible:
(1) The Gossiper
The Gossiper knows everything about everyone and as soon as they find out they’re all about giving you the 411. I can’t deny that finding out that Kate cheated on Greg with his best friend isn’t somewhat juicy but it’s really none of my business. Lord knows if I was going through a painful situation like that I wouldn’t want people whispering about it.
This person also only ever shares negative stories or rumours about others, rarely something is said in a positive light, is that something you’d really like to be a part of? This is someone you should be weary of because chances are they talk about you too.
(2) The Fake
They’re there when they need you but no where to be seen when you need them. In a group or social setting they’re nice to you, things are great, but when you’re alone they’ve got nothing but a cold shoulder to offer you. This person only pretends to be your friend when it benefits them or to seem like they’re a nice person. They lack genuineness and you can sense it a mile away. When and if they compliment you it’s almost like they’re mocking you in the most passive aggressive way possible. These people slowly chip away at your self confidence and quite frankly make you go bonkers with their hot and cold attitude.
(3) The Drama Queen / Spoiled Brat
Usually the drama queen comes in combination of having a spoiled brat like attitude, when they don’t get their way all hell breaks loose. Ironically this same person also protests that they hate drama, they complain about other people’s negativity when they themselves are a black hole. Everything is perfect as long they approve but if you’re “out of line” watch out this person will make a real stink until they get their way. They thrive on attention, negative or positive it doesn’t matter as long as the topic on hand is about them and them only. They also have the tendency to manipulate others and situations to their benefit. And forget telling them anything great going on with your life because they’ll find a way to one-up you. You soon find yourself walking on eggshells, avoiding certain topics and generally feeling drained after spending time with them and being exposed to their irrational behaviours.
(4) Negative Nancy
Do you have good news to share with this person? Well don’t, they’ll be sure to suck the joy of whatever you wanted to share. They instill fear and concern into even the most benign topics. Any conversation always winds up on how life is unfair and how everything sucks. But hey we all go through hard times and being positive 100% of the time is fucking delusional– but unfortunately this person rarely has anything positive to say. You try to cheer them up, come up with solution to their problems or get to the root of the issue but it’s always an endless spiral of negativity, yikes. Truth be told out of all the toxic kinds of people I feel for the Negative Nancy, I believe they’re in desperate need of mental help, being stuck in a negative cycle must be exhausting and depressing.
(5) The Judge
Out of all the toxic people this one irks me the most. Judgemental people are the worst, according to me anyway. They are so narrow-minded that the concept of anything beyond their comfort level is mind-blowing. They pick apart strangers, friends, family– anyone that falls outside of what they deem acceptable. Some express their distaste in a subtle manner, others really like to voice their opinion and the crazier ones are members of Westboro Baptist Church. They sit up on their pedestal casting judgement on your every move, ready to tell you how wrong you are.
Did these 5 toxic people remind you of anyone in particular? If so what do we do next? The first thing we can do is confront the situation, talk to them in a respectful manner, establish boundaries, let them know their behaviour is effecting your relationship. More often than not these conversations usually go south, and if it does the best thing you can do after voicing your concern is to back away.
Unfortunately self-awareness isn’t very common (or so it seems), if it does happen most people don’t like to put in the work to make a change, it’s human nature to stay within the realms of our comfort zones. So you let them be them, maybe after some time passes they’ll want to change or maybe they’ll just make you look like the crazy one, either way at least you confronted the situation like an adult and you can now move on.
Having toxic people in your life will never have a positive outcome. By recognizing who these people are or if we fall into these categories we can further our journey into personal growth.